Multiple Egos

The practice I am maintaining for last few years is born out of a simple method of prayers and self-reprimand. Normally these rituals do not last beyond few weeks but in my case I started enjoying this as if I was getting drenched in the shower of blessings. First it improved my long distance view of the life and death, second it gave me cleaner understanding of metaphysics, then I learnt to practice parapsychology in a most effective way, ( it is complimentary to my decade old hypothesis of Super-psychologist), then I became a more refined artists, then I became a poet and now a better humanitarian. I have rarely seen a human being achieving this in such a short span of time. I indeed did it for a person, but I constructed a much more powerful imagery so much so that I am unable to do anything without that force. My poetic character is a permanent friend and a spiritual ally in a deep lane of loneliness; that is hall mark of all thinkers and doers. The images that you might see around me may or may not be comparable for someone else because the perspective may vary. But the fact is that it should not be compared and it is unique; it has been born in some of the most trying circumstances in a most magical way; only God's can make that possible.

Most artists are fanatic and so am I. The image is all about love; as pure as a mother bringing up a son or a poor lady in destitution waiting for her man to be christened. she has only one desire; to see this man understand and know the highest form of love; the creation. If anyone sees the melancholy, it is probably born out of a deep pity for the destitution; but at the end of the day, it is still a human feeling.

Although I am wondering if this is clash of individual ego vs. spiritual ego I am handling the issue form another perspective. as earlier, you might be a voice from the God's house. How can I ignore the God's order. Imagine out of confusion I do it the way the order is, and then I realize that it is just a personal need of building a social compatibility. how much the ill advice and the adviser would suffer?

Last few years has taught me living for one's own values and living on one's own determination. I am stronger and by virtue of that I am becoming a better visionary. Do you want me to be running out of steam just for putting few grains down the stomach?

From physics to metaphysics my life is overwhelmed by magical experiences as if the spirituality is eager to share His secrets. The issues before me are not about eating but about thinking.

At a very pragmatic level , I can leave not just one but all fasting. Instead I will eat only once a day, all days the week. That will keep me awake for at least an hour more. I think from here, I would rather follow that route and not keep fast at all. I need some time before I gather that courage. Please wait for another month or so. May be a wish gets fulfilled automatically.

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